2017 Fantasy Baseball Champions!!

I won the championship in my fantasy baseball league this year!!! Chimichanga Express championship banners and T-shirts? Yeah, I should make them. Just kidding, that is way overboard.

Team MVP (batters):

Team MVP (pitchers):

Postseason MVP:

Thanks to Charlie Blackmon, Max Scherzer, George Springer and all the rest if my team from this year 🙂


Dak Prescott Defies CTE With Latest End Zone Dance

Dak Prescott End Zone Dance

In the latest incident of showmanship gone awry, Dak Prescott of the Dallas Cowboys does a headspin to celebrate being alive. Challenging the dreaded CTE head on, Prescott damned gravity headfirst to the bewilderment of three Arizona Cardinals’ players who could only watch. We can neither confirm nor deny that Grandmaster Flash and The Furious Five were playing in his helmet speaker at the time.

In A Show Of Metal Solidarity, Tom Brady Yet Again Pulls Off Late Comeback Victory


Trailing late to the Houston Texans Sunday, once again quarterback Tom Brady raised his metal horns to summon the spirit of Ronnie James Dio and lead the New England Patriots downfield for a game winning touchdown. The play, “12-Y-Left-Holy Diver” has never failed, and is no doubt the ultimate secret to Brady’s success. Well, that and a super hot wife.

Solved: The Reason The New Orleans Saints Defense Has Been Awful for The Last Several Years

New Orleans Saints Defense

Despite having a terrific offense, the New Orleans Saints have been dreadful on defense for the last several years. After literally milliseconds of scientific study, analysts from MIT have come to the conclusion that it is because the players literally play upside-down, as demonstrated above by former linebacker Jonathan Vilma. It started about the time that Bountygate became a thing when then defensive coordinator Gregg Williams wanted to try something new to match up with current NFL offensive schemes. At some point, through multiple changes at defensive coordinators, the team maintained its upside-down defensive technique. “From our perspective, we have finished at the top of our division for most of the last few years” commented an unnamed defensive end for the team.

My First Year Playing Fantasy Baseball: Guess I’ve Done Alright

The above is the final regular season standings from my fantasy baseball league. I’ve been playing fantasy football since 1995, but have never until this year played fantasy baseball. I have a good reason… I’ve never liked baseball… at all… before this year. My workmate invited me to join his league, and he’s a huge baseball fan. He returned the favor and joined the fantasy football league I created for people at the company I work for. 

I got hooked in baseball as soon as I started watching my players. I watched a game every day for at least two months. Football is still king, but baseball has been upgraded to ‘better than OK’ in my book. Below I will post my roster. I am currently in the semifinals and hoping to make it onto the championship game next week. Finishing first by a mile in the regular season does not guarantee postseason success. Stay tuned!

My team:

Experts: Washington Post May Create More Public Fear If It Grants Them Higher Readership

Washington Post Trump North Korea

In an effort to create public fear to generate higher ad revenue from anxious readers voraciously diving into their click bait articles, the Washington Post has once again scored a hit. North Korea, a.k.a. Earth’s lunatic asylum, could be colluding with the media in this campaign to keep people afraid. Nothing draws more attention to the media than a frightened public. The money continues to flow…

One Million Steps

As a matter of curiosity I’ve decided to see how long it will take me to walk 1,000,000 steps. Will I follow through? Who knows? I’ve started and not finished a million projects in my life. I am relying solely on the accuracy of my step counter and predicting this will take about three months. So, if I maintain this, I’ll check in along the way…